101.3 The River

Mike Benny's daily top five list

Good things about losing an hour over the weekend

This weekend we change from Standard Time to Daylight Savings Time by moving our clocks ahead one hour Saturday night. Mike's top five good things about losing an hour over the weekend.
#5. If you forget to change your clock. You can cut right to communion when you're an hour late for church!
#4. Every hour not spent shoveling doggie nuggets is a good hour.
#3. With any luck you'll miss the whole first hour of Celebrity Apprentice, Sunday night.
#2. It's fun to watch that show 24 and pick it apart because it's not called 23.
#1. One less hour of kids complaining "there's nothing to do.."
Preparations for St. Patrick's Day

St. Patrick’s Day is one week today and here are the top five preparations you should be making for the big green event.
#5. Start setting up your “call in sick” for the 18th (Cough, cough, oh no I may be coming down with something. By next Tuesday you should be “man, I've been fighting this for a week now”).
#4. Listen to U2 and Van Morrison records, or if you’re a real glutton for punishment, Green Day.
#3. Forge a birth certificate for use at Kelly O'Brien's.
#3a. Remove the giant construction paper Valentine's heart from the fridge and replace it with the giant construction paper shamrock.
#2. Haul out the Patty O’ Furniture.
#1. Start cooking now so dinner is good and green by the 17th.

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Inventions that have failed in the past

The Dragons’ Den is holding an open audition in Prince George on March 11th. All inventors and inovators are welcome to show their offerings. When it comes to inventions and inovations; they're not all good. There have been quite a few failures in the past. So we don't repeat our mistakes, here are Mike's top five inventions that have failed in the past.
#5. The 1-D camera.
#4. Preparation G.
#3. Parking meter cozies.
#2. Prorogue-gane (a hair tonic that pauses hair growth).
#1. The precursor to G-Mail; F-Mail!
Top five ways for bosses to show appreciation for employees
The first Friday of March is always considered Employee Appreciation Day. Mike's top five ways for bosses to show appreciation for employees.
#5. Keep your depreciative comments and constant belittling down to once or twice an hour.
#4. Quit it with the Cape Canaveral countdown at 4:59:50 everyday.
#3. At today's staff meeting make an effort to get one or two names right.
#2. Stop muttering the spell 'exspellus terminus employee-us' every time you walk past an employee.
#1. Try the 40 pack of Timbits once in a while (the 20 pack just screams 'cheapo').
Reasons why I didn't do so well at the Music Festival
The 57th Annual PG Music Festival is wrapping up. Two Finale Performances will be Friday night at the PG Playhouse. “The Showcase” at 5:30pm (I'll be there to host) and then “The Gala Concert” at 8pm. Gala tickets are $10.00 and available at Studio 2880 or at the door. Again this year, I was entered in the music festival, but I didn't do so well. Here are some of the reasons why I think I didn't do so well.
#5. Some in the audience seemed put off by my Team Canada jersey, my big foam finger and the uni-tard I borrowed from Judy Russel's The Nutcracker!
#4. The words “utterly awful” seemed to come up a lot during judges comments.
#3. The bulk of my repertoire may have included too many Kesha and Lady Gaga songs (particularly my accordion remix of TikTok).
#2. Apparently nothing on Guitar Hero II qualifies as Post Romantic Impressionist.
#1. One of the judges may have a point - maybe I have watched School of Rock too many times.