101.3 The River

#5. Fewer flies than usual hovering over the center piece.

#4. Fewer flies than usual hovering over passed-out dinner guests.

#3. David Susuki and a guy with a clipboard sitting at the far end of the table all evening ? giggling.

#2. That after-dinner bloated feeling replaced by an urge to sting whomever just passed you the broccoli.

#1. You find yourself reminiscing about the ?good old days? when turkey dinners just contained high levels of melamine.

#5. Keep the diapers and the pumpkin pies in separate rooms.

#4. Do not thaw your turkey in the kid's tub.

#3. Stuffing should never be pink.

#3. You can usually tell your turkey is done when the smoke alarm goes off.

#1. Be sure to remove the little bag of inside bits and save it for Halloween pranks.

#5. Try not to elect a nard for Prime Minister.

#4. Always say ?yes? to the extra.

#3. Always ?super size?; even if you don't really want to.

#2. On pay day, don't cash both of your A&W gift certificates at once. Save one for later.

#1. If you see a penny pick it up.. and keep it.

#5. You won't have as much heavy money to carry around.

#4. A renewed hope for ?the money tree?, Santa Claus and a Prime Minister who isn't a nard.

#3. You and your family might get to spend more quality time with gramma and grampa, when you move into their basement. #2. Christmas is way too commercialized anyway..

#1. Not having a job might help take your mind off not having a car.

#5. Doesn't come with screens for the basement windows.

#4. You asked for the six inch with mayo & no cheese and ended up with a 750 million dollar Victoria Class, British build u boat!

#3. The captain that comes with the sub shows you his Pleasure Craft Operator card before he boards.

#2. It appears someone has painted over the name HUNLEY on the side.

#1. It's more water resistant than water PROOF.